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| Chief AnayoNwosu |
In
most pre-colonial Igbo hinterland, the responsibility of funding the funeral of
a father lies squarely on his first son. Other sons, daughters and in-laws only
lend a helping hand. This was the case if the deceased had not shared his
estate before he died; a situation that would warrant the first son to do the
sharing at a time of his choosing after the funeral of his dad. Just like our
president has been sharing political position, whatever measurement the first
son applies in sharing is not appealable. But if the first son has no capacity
to finance the funeral of his father, any of the sons who can, is encouraged to
foot the bill.
In
Nnewi, we say "onye ji ego wepụta kwaa nna na ọ bụghị dị ọkpara gburu
ya" meaning "let any son who is capable, finance the father's funeral
since the first son didn't kill his father". In a polygamous setting, the
projected funeral expenses are shared along the matrilineal lines. The first
son of each wife would share his with his mother's male children. There is no
compassion for an only son. Anybody who fails to pay up before the funeral
would have the expenses deducted from his own share of their father's property.
If
none of the sons can or is willing to help to foot the bills, the first son
could sell any of his father's property to fund the funeral. But if the
deceased father had shared his property while alive in a tradition known as
"I du ụnọ", each male child may decide to conduct a separate funeral
ceremony in his own house, same day but the canon shots can only be released
from the compound of the first son where the father is buried.
If the
children of the deceased are still very young, the extended family would hold a
meeting and resolve to sell of one or more of the dead man's property to
finance the funeral. The widow is usually consulted before executing the
resolution to know if she has money or kept her husband's money enough to
finance the funeral. She might decide to bring the money or to borrow to
protect her children's inheritance which is usually sold at a pittance.
Some
good and capable relations may decide to task themselves to foot the bill and
leave the widow and her children alone. If the deceased is childless, whosoever
amongst his relations that funds the funeral inherits his estate including his
wife.
Funding
of the funeral of a dead mother is a bit different. The first son could become
funny knowing full well that all the mother's landed property will be owned by
the last male child while the daughters would take the clothes, jewelleries and
cooking utensils. Nothing is left for the first and other sons to share except
those items openly given to them by their mother when she was alive.
I'm my
mother's last son by default. The two after me had died. Can you imagine if my
mother was Mrs Alakija? I would have since taken an ọzọ title known as
"Akụnne". Given the above, the last son knows his responsibility for
the funeral of his mother. However, it must be noted that the first son still
owns the condolence money and materials after the funeral expenses have been
deducted. If he has a charitable heart, he would share the "funeral
profit" with his siblings using any formula his greed level permits.
The
daughters in the family, whether married or not, are not under any obligation
to contribute to the prosecution of the parents' funeral. They can only do so
out of compassion or fear of being disparaged by friends and relatives as wicked
and insensitive. But they usually help a lot. Some daughters actually bankroll
the entire funeral expenses of their parents. Those daughters are called
she-men, olu ada or alpha-females
Unfortunately
for me, my mother did not leave much for me to inherit. She died rich in
character and good works but not in tangible assets. All her clothes were
shared by her sisters and my own sisters.
My
brother knows already. We have to do it together. Perhaps, being a man of God
that he is, he might allow me take all the condolence money that's if he
mistakenly gets carried away speaking in tongues. That's most unlikely. Not an
Nnewi man.
There
is always a fight after the funeral between brothers and between sisters and
don't ask me the cause.
anayonwosu@icloud.com
Ikenga
Ezenwegbu Nnewi
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