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| ESV. Obande G. Agbese |
Obande G. Agbese is a very hardworking and ambitious Lagos-based Estate Surveyor and
Valuer that got a call from a foreign number about a property in Banana Island
for sale that he advertised. According to him, the voice was that of an elderly
woman. She asked for the details and asked him to send pictures of the property
to her, which he excitedly did. She promised to call back. The woman later
called back after two weeks.
He said: “Two weeks later she called me again and said that she would
be in Nigeria in two weeks to see the place and pay for it. Sure she did. She
looked every inch a wealthy person. I took her for the Inspection. After seeing
some other properties, she settled for this waterfront masterpiece of an
Architectural edifice. The price was close to a billion naira. She negotiated
my fee to a bit less than N50m. The owner of the property also promised to pay
me something substantial. I was excited. At long last, God don butter my bread.
She collected the title papers, did the legal search. We prepared all the
transfer papers. The deal was as good as concluded.”
According to
Obande, he started walking with a new swagger as someone who would get a
minimum of N50million in the new deal. His spoken English became more polished.
He wrote better lexicons on Facebook. His writings were strictly for the highly
educated. His lyrics flowed without inhibitions. He talked with more confidence
and authority. He became more generous to himself and those around me. He even
laughed more and nothing his wife said or did got on his nerves. He was all
smiles most times. He had been waiting for the big break and here it comes.
Obande thought that he had become too rich to do small jobs.
“One
of my faithful long time clients called me to go for a valuation job in Abuja.
I told him that I can't go, except he pays N150k into my account to cover my
flight and accommodation. When I return, we would discuss the valuation fee. He
was shocked. He offered to pay N100k. He reminded me that I won't need to sleep
in Abuja since I could go by first flight and return by last flight same day. I
refused to listen. He sent N120k into my account, I went to Abuja reluctantly.
I told him that I only agreed to go because it was him. That I no longer do that
kind of dog jobs. He was shocked. He knew that this was not the Obande he used
to know. When he dug into why I have suddenly become near impossible, I told
him point blank that I don't do small jobs any longer. I deal only on big jobs.
I don't play in the small leagues no more. But for him I can condescend. But he
needed to improve on what he was paying me. He apologized and promised to call
me when he gets only big deals. He warned me to be careful. I didn't want to
leave Lagos for even a second. What if the alert happens when I am out of town.
I was the central figure in this deal. After all, if I get alert, na God win.
Why I no go get alert when my name na Godwin?” he said.
Then, Obande
started waiting for the big deal. “Then the stories
started. It is the falling Naira against dollar. It is EFCC poking noses into
all transactions in Nigeria. The stories continued unabated. I was not doing
the small deals no more. The big one became tales by moonlight. Account was running
dry. So many withdrawals and no deposit. I became disillusioned, always on the
edge. I started being withdrawn, bitter and picking quarrels with everyone,”
he said. “Then one day I got a message from this
prospective buyer. She wanted me to lend her N1.5m. I was devastated. A
billionaire asking for N1.5m? N1.5m
kor, N900million ni'i. Bloody 419!”
Having discovered
that he had wasted his precious time with a bloody fraudster, Obande had no
option but to contact his long time client in Abuja to know if he could give
him a deal. “I called my faithful client, he said I am
a professional that he respects so much and trust absolutely. But he could no
longer afford my services as I have become a Debonair. I told him that I have
woken up from my daydream. I will now go to Abuja with even N50k as I can go by
Road. I am even ready to go and do a valuation inspection in Sambisa forest for
N200k. If my language has depreciated, please forgive me. It is because of the
disappointment that I suffered. At the moment, I'm inside a bus heading for
Warri for a consultancy job. Don't ask me why I didn't insist on flight ticket
money. Na waa ooo. These fraudsters sef,” he said.
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