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| Chief Anayo Nwosu |
This
article is focused on career ladies or professionals who are above 35 years
old, who earnestly wish and pray to get married someday to men of their choice.
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Most
of the ladies in this class must have started doing well in their chosen
professions or careers. Some of them have already become financially
comfortable, made some investments and are currently taking care of their
family members and friends. Therefore, the main attraction for a man is no
longer to enjoy financial security but other higher goals like compatibility,
maturity and responsibility. And to legally have their own children.
This
class of ladies in Nigeria easily get attracted to predatory men or over spoilt
children of the rich who want to parasitize or leech on them. This club of
predator suitors come pretending and end up complicating the well-organized
lives of their victims.
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The
ladies should know that most Nigerian men have a deep seated inferiority
complex and are mostly afraid of marrying a woman who has become successful or
a lady whose only need is a marriage certificate and the advantages marriage
brings. Therefore, when you are above 30 and have made money, note that most
men feel threatened by your success. Men prefer to marry ladies they can
control financially.
Who is
that responsible highflying young man who is still unmarried at 35? Did he
overstay in school or had issues with relationships before he suddenly realized
he needed to settle down? Was he trying to train or settle his family members
before a sudden decision to get married?
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If I
were a lady, any male suitor above 35 must explain to me beyond reasonable
doubt why he has remained unmarried till now. Many ladies above 35 should know
that most responsible men about their age have been taken and as such must
lower those stringent conditions of theirs that a prospective husband must meet
before they accept his marriage proposal. He doesn’t have to be very handsome,
broad shouldered, tall or rich.
At
this age, you must give a discount! Widower and divorcee markets exist for
those above 35. If I were a woman, I would prefer to marry a widower, if I
confirm that his wife died of a natural cause, than a divorcee. A man and a
woman have their roles in the occurrence of a divorce. Naturally and given the
same situation, a divorcee would still end up divorcing his new wife.
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A lady
doesn’t have to marry an idiot just to answer a married woman. But it makes sense
for one to evaluate one’s current situation, opportunities, strengths,
weaknesses and militating factors or threats to enable one make an informed
marital decision. That is not to say that everyone has the same destiny. Some
cases may end up differently.
I have
seen a couple of 40 years old ladies marry men that approximated their heart
desires but that doesn’t happen all the time. Most ideal men marry before they
turn 35 and only a few confident men marry women older than them. If you are a
mature lady blessed with accelerated career or professional growth, kindly note
that most men are naive or afraid of successful women. This inferiority complex
is deep-seated in most men and it takes extra wisdom to detect it in a
seemingly normal man. Therefore, only brave men could develop the liver to
broach marriage with you.
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I had
worked with very intelligent female bosses who wouldn't stand intelligent and
industrious men. They hired many to work with them but couldn't get any to
marry. Married men of timbre and calibre make solid friendship with such
high-flying ladies, tapping their intellect and sometimes their warmth. But the
ladies wanted more but couldn't stoop so low to get the kind of husband they
desire i.e those available in the market.
Are
you a married handsome and intelligent man working under a single lady boss who
is over 35 and who deals with you and you have been wondering what offence you
have committed or how you have wronged her? Don't bother yourself. You are
serving the punishment for the menfolk. You are who your lady boss desires but
could not have. Your physique or personality might even be reminding her of a
former boyfriend that shattered her heart. So, you’re who she cannot have and
you must suffer for that. Therefore, bear your cross quietly and plot your
exit.
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If you
are a bad boy working under an ageing tough unmarried female boss, tell her on
a good day, "Madam you are very beautiful; If I were older I would have
married you" and you would see how she would giggle like a 18 year old.
This could lead to your promotion if you follow it up with periodic
compliments. It would be worse if you refuse to go further than that or refuse
her invitation to be closer.
If
you’re a young lady, please marry before you arrive at the tipping point of
your career. It's usually very difficult when you have succeeded. Marriage and
career can go hand in hand if well planned. Adopt successful career married
women as role models and you would happier you did. You need a family when
career is gone. There is nothing like one having an own man to control or
manipulate.
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All
those talks by ladies that “a man who will marry me must accept my lifestyle”
or “I cannot lower my standards of living " or “No man can stop me from
buying a house or car of my dream", or that “A man who will marry me needs
to be bold enough" is rubbish. Those talks are righteously genuine
concerns but they have an impact in your continued marital status.
From
my experience, I know that many women are not married today because of certain
requirements or criteria they set which their suitors have not been able or
willing to meet. Unknown to many ladies, only the man who comes to ask for your
hands in marriage is the man who is attracted to what you offer or who the
mother nature has chosen for you. It is like the law of density.
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Because
it is difficult to change old habits, I enjoin any lady above 35 desirous of
getting married not to reject any marriage proposal without due consideration
or without seeking the counsel of a more experienced elderly woman. This is
important in order not to chase away a husband good for you.
By the
way, must every lady get married? No! Some ladies can’t take nonsense from men.
Many too would not make out any sense in this “rubbish” I have written.
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